One day and Now

I want to believe
That one day
I'll feel a relief 
Cuz everything will be okay
One day, in another lifetime
I'll no longer be a pastime
In some other life 
You and I will be together
No more strife
Just a happily after
And the pain carried today
It will be a shadow of gray
But for now I must deal with the pain
Of a love that is painfully insane 
A love that just doesn't go away
Thy sorrow can I not portray
That's the least I can say about mine
Do you remember? My eyes used to shine
Now they are just bleary
They tell how much I am weary 
But one day somehow
I'll be damn happy, but not for now
Now I will live life
Until the day I'll be a star in the sky.

Heart Is a Prisoner

What kind of spell you put me on?
I’ve been trying to let you go
But somehow it’s seems impossible
Is this love so unsolvable?
Do you remember our story?
Those were our days of glory
Damn we were so in love
But we thought our feelings were turned off
Until things came to an end
Then we had something to mend
Damn, after 7 seven years 
Our love in fond memories appears
And suddenly I can feel the tears
Showing me all my fears
God, I am so scare not being able to move on
I only wished this was gone
Cuz having you again it’s inconceivable
And having you out of my life is intolerable
I need to see you smile
And then everything is worthwhile
Even this prison I am in
Is bearable due to your friendship
This love made my heart a prisoner
For that I am a criminal
I won’t be a winner 
Not this time, not in this picture
But it’s okay, you are my friend
That’s worth to defend 
I’ll fight not to lose it,
Although I have to admit
I still dream about you and me 
I know that’s not to meant to be
This a story of two people 
One living in freedom
The other in a prison called heart
And in criminal court
She was sentenced to love and to be unloved,
It’s time to become a fugitive 
Cuz this love is so punitive, 
When people say love is a beauty,
They’re so fucking wrong,
Or maybe we don’t listen up the same song,
I think it’s time to learn how to dance
The song you listen and find the balance
Between love and pain
And stop the tears to drain. 

Thoughts of a Lost War

And here I am, thinking about you and all comes to mind as a movie playing in my head!

I entered a war that I knew it was lost from the start but even so I tried, in my silence,to read between the lines, that were in blank.

How stupid was I for thinking time would go back to when we were on the same heartbeat, how fool I was hoping to gain your heart again, how innocent I was for thinking we could start over again but now I finally see the cruel and naked truth...

My time has passed by, I let you go years ago, I was so young and blind to see what I was leaving behind, I was too blind to see you were the one, and now I stand here alone with my heart aching, squeezing and twisting my heart and soul because of a bad decision.

It was a hard decision back then, damn you don't know how many tears I cried, so many times I saw pictures of you with a heavy heart, how many times I wanted to go back to that defining moment so I could say I love you, but I was too late, I've hurt you, I've hurt us.

You asked me after all these years Why did you feed this feeling along the years? I didn't feed, I lived my life the best way I could, I loved, I suffered, I gave my heart, but you were always there, hidden in my heart and thoughts in a way I couldn't controlled.

Damn if this isn't real love, then what the fuck is real love?!  All the different paths I took brought me to you, and if ain't to stay with you then damn life have a very twisted way to torture me and make me pay for the mistakes! 

Now that i finally told you about how I feel, I scare of losing you and that my words drift us away and bring distance us, but I had to say, you had to know how I feel, but I keep my promises, I won't fight for you, I'll fight for our friendship the most important to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rjnnx4h0RU

Sentimentos escondido

Eu dou-te todas as dicas
Deixo-te entre linhas pistas
Que sonho que comigo ficas
Não sou dada a conquistas
Mas tu deixas-te em mim tua tatuagem
E nesta vida, o amor é uma viagem
E nela tu és a mais bela paisagem
E no amor és a perfeita homenagem
A tão bela e complexa palavra
Que desde que te vi em mim está marcada
Temos feito uma longa jornada
Mas esta tão complexa caminhada
Leva-me sempre a ti
Eu pensei que este amor tinha um fim
Mas dei por mim a sentir-me assim
Sem saber bem, foi assim que me senti
A descobrir que ainda estou apaixonada
Mas tenho de permanecer calada
Porque por mim já não sentes nada
E não quero que me vejas magoada
Permanecerei aqui enquanto amiga
Pois essa é a minha maior alegria
Mas desta vez vim para ficar
E é onde quero estar
Acompanhar-te, apoiar-te,
E sorriso dar-te.

A almost lover

It's amazing how a simple touch
A simple moment, a simple kiss
Can last in my memory for so long
Can turn into a such bliss
Through the years reminding me of you
Reminding me of our moment
A moment so ours, so true
And all of it was broken
Because of me, I lost the view
Now here I am once again
Wondering How it would have been
But I'm the one to blame
I broke your heart, I pushed you away
I loved you and I was so damn scare
That I lost myself along the way
Oh how I wish I could repair
The damage I left on your heart
But please know this I also got hurt
I still have our image together
If I close my eyes I can feel your arms
I know you are so much better
Without me around with charms
Maybe you already forgot me
You were probably the one that got away
I've disappointed you
I wasn't there when you need me the most
You will always be my What If
My almost lover...
Pipe!

Unspoken words

Time goes by
And I keep saying goodbye
To my misery existence
Nothing makes no sense
This world is breaking me
Your words are drowing me
All these years you knocked me out
All this time you dragged me down
I'm hopeless and faithless because of you
You made me lost the view
View of who I am for real
You don't know how I feel
You were supposed to made me better
Instead you made me bitter
If my heart was an ice cold stone
You made me feel so alone
I would rather break me each bone
Than left me there out the zone
With no one to turn to
There's things I'll never get through
You left so deep scars
You made inside me so many wars
And i do love you
I'll always do
But there are things to forgive
And I'll try as long as live
But stop pushing me down.

evoL

Love it's time for us to have a little chat...Would u mind to leave me alone, u changed me and that it's driving me nuts...U made my life harder..u see, before u enter my life without an invitation, my life was so much simple, I didn't give a damn about a thing not even about myself. There's was silence and a frozen heart, no tears, no broken promises, no words like bullets,no hunger for love and to be loved, so let's makes things easier let's turn off this melty heart, go visit another person and leave me alone for a quite some time. Instead of breaking my heart over and over and I don't mean just romantically...Give me a break...And go fuck someone else I'm tired of being your bitch...