Thoughts of a Lost War

And here I am, thinking about you and all comes to mind as a movie playing in my head!

I entered a war that I knew it was lost from the start but even so I tried, in my silence,to read between the lines, that were in blank.

How stupid was I for thinking time would go back to when we were on the same heartbeat, how fool I was hoping to gain your heart again, how innocent I was for thinking we could start over again but now I finally see the cruel and naked truth...

My time has passed by, I let you go years ago, I was so young and blind to see what I was leaving behind, I was too blind to see you were the one, and now I stand here alone with my heart aching, squeezing and twisting my heart and soul because of a bad decision.

It was a hard decision back then, damn you don't know how many tears I cried, so many times I saw pictures of you with a heavy heart, how many times I wanted to go back to that defining moment so I could say I love you, but I was too late, I've hurt you, I've hurt us.

You asked me after all these years Why did you feed this feeling along the years? I didn't feed, I lived my life the best way I could, I loved, I suffered, I gave my heart, but you were always there, hidden in my heart and thoughts in a way I couldn't controlled.

Damn if this isn't real love, then what the fuck is real love?!  All the different paths I took brought me to you, and if ain't to stay with you then damn life have a very twisted way to torture me and make me pay for the mistakes! 

Now that i finally told you about how I feel, I scare of losing you and that my words drift us away and bring distance us, but I had to say, you had to know how I feel, but I keep my promises, I won't fight for you, I'll fight for our friendship the most important to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rjnnx4h0RU

Sentimentos escondido

Eu dou-te todas as dicas
Deixo-te entre linhas pistas
Que sonho que comigo ficas
Não sou dada a conquistas
Mas tu deixas-te em mim tua tatuagem
E nesta vida, o amor é uma viagem
E nela tu és a mais bela paisagem
E no amor és a perfeita homenagem
A tão bela e complexa palavra
Que desde que te vi em mim está marcada
Temos feito uma longa jornada
Mas esta tão complexa caminhada
Leva-me sempre a ti
Eu pensei que este amor tinha um fim
Mas dei por mim a sentir-me assim
Sem saber bem, foi assim que me senti
A descobrir que ainda estou apaixonada
Mas tenho de permanecer calada
Porque por mim já não sentes nada
E não quero que me vejas magoada
Permanecerei aqui enquanto amiga
Pois essa é a minha maior alegria
Mas desta vez vim para ficar
E é onde quero estar
Acompanhar-te, apoiar-te,
E sorriso dar-te.

A almost lover

It's amazing how a simple touch
A simple moment, a simple kiss
Can last in my memory for so long
Can turn into a such bliss
Through the years reminding me of you
Reminding me of our moment
A moment so ours, so true
And all of it was broken
Because of me, I lost the view
Now here I am once again
Wondering How it would have been
But I'm the one to blame
I broke your heart, I pushed you away
I loved you and I was so damn scare
That I lost myself along the way
Oh how I wish I could repair
The damage I left on your heart
But please know this I also got hurt
I still have our image together
If I close my eyes I can feel your arms
I know you are so much better
Without me around with charms
Maybe you already forgot me
You were probably the one that got away
I've disappointed you
I wasn't there when you need me the most
You will always be my What If
My almost lover...
Pipe!

Unspoken words

Time goes by
And I keep saying goodbye
To my misery existence
Nothing makes no sense
This world is breaking me
Your words are drowing me
All these years you knocked me out
All this time you dragged me down
I'm hopeless and faithless because of you
You made me lost the view
View of who I am for real
You don't know how I feel
You were supposed to made me better
Instead you made me bitter
If my heart was an ice cold stone
You made me feel so alone
I would rather break me each bone
Than left me there out the zone
With no one to turn to
There's things I'll never get through
You left so deep scars
You made inside me so many wars
And i do love you
I'll always do
But there are things to forgive
And I'll try as long as live
But stop pushing me down.

evoL

Love it's time for us to have a little chat...Would u mind to leave me alone, u changed me and that it's driving me nuts...U made my life harder..u see, before u enter my life without an invitation, my life was so much simple, I didn't give a damn about a thing not even about myself. There's was silence and a frozen heart, no tears, no broken promises, no words like bullets,no hunger for love and to be loved, so let's makes things easier let's turn off this melty heart, go visit another person and leave me alone for a quite some time. Instead of breaking my heart over and over and I don't mean just romantically...Give me a break...And go fuck someone else I'm tired of being your bitch...

Teu amor

Há uma sombra que me acompanha                                                  
Quando caminho sozinha
Cada esquina é estranha
Mas tu não és desconhecida
Em cada coisa vejo tua imagem
Sei bem que és mera miragem
És minha única bagagem
Nesta longa viagem
Na qual te perdi
Um último sorriso vi
Um último beijo senti
E agora estou sem ti
Sem o meu equilíbrio
Tudo se torna mais sombrio
Quando já não te sinto
Estou de volta ao labirinto
Que mais parece não ter fim
Em que o verde jardim
Murcha dentro de mim
A cada dia longe de ti
Um amor, dois corações a chorar
Pois não deixaram de amar
Distância acabou por ganhar
Tristeza acabou por se instalar
Quando outrora havia felicidade
Uma mágica cumplicidade
Que permanecia em continuidade
Sempre que se amavam com intensidade
Sempre que estavam juntos sem extensidade
Tu és a mais bela realidade
Tu és a minha liberdade 
Que me faz prisioneira de teu coração
Mas sem ti não levanto pés do chão
Voar sem ti é simplesmente em vão
Amar-te é a minha escravidão...
O teu amor é a minha sombra
O teu amor é o que me mantém viva.

Real or Just a Dream

I thought about cut myself
To see if I would bleed
To see if I was still alive
If all of this was real
Or just a bad dream
But this unseen pain
Let me know it's true
I'm alive and bruised
Broken and scarred
Lost and scared
My smile rubbed out
I try to keep my faith
But not holding onto her
Cuz the fall may be high
Tears fall down my face
My heart is open up
This wound's bleeding out
The piece of my puzzle
Is missing, I'm undone
There's a void
And all you fill it up
You may not come back
But then neither will I
Come back to be me...
It's was all real as a dream...